Shadows Of The Forgotten
Here we are again..continuing a scene that still gives me chills. Best way to put it, like my friend Camila/Blackbird says. It is true though because it was here where I somehow sneaked into her brain and thus began the epic mind ninja battles. >.> You don’t need to understand…all you need to know is we were on the same page and it wasn’t even planned. Love it.
Luke raised an eyebrow at the coin pouch as he recognized it immediately, honestly surprised to see it again. He didn’t say anything however, not until the wolf-girl had gone out the door and had time to walk a fair distance. Then he stood up from his chair and stretched lazily before walking up to Ess. “So, what are the vials for?” He asked, smirking and playfully attempting to peek at the spot where she had hid them. Looking up at her eyes, he gave a light half shrug. “You know, Pretty Lady, I like your real face a lot better.” He said with a small wink, before walking back to the chair dropping down on it rather comically, almost knocking the chair, and himself, to the ground in the process, watching Ess carefully the whole time as if somehow he expected her to vanish the moment he looked away. While the compliment had been an absent one that he had let out on a careless moment, turning it into a nickname somehow made it easier for Luke to handle this weird affection he seemed to have for this woman; it was a name and nothing else, it was alright to say, it didn’t mean anything. “So…” He started, crossing his arms behind his head and staring at the ceiling for a bit. “Do you have any more questions or do you want to pick my brain now?”
Ess watched the Tala copy disappear into the coming dusk, awkward shadows teasing her perception as the streets temporarily cleared. Something was changing. She wasn’t sure anymore where she was headed, and it absolutely terrified her while simultaneously causing her smile to broaden. Closing her eyes, she inhaled slowly through her nostrils, taking in the sweet scent of distortion before closing the door tight, locking it behind her.
Ess responded to Luke’s playful advances to sneak a peek down her dress with side steps and dodging movements, countering his gaze. She couldn’t help the smile, thinking how she hadn’t laughed or smiled so much in so long and that she just couldn’t prevent it as easily as she wanted. “The vials, dear Luckas..” She teased, “are my insurance…. One needs a back up plan, or two.”
Ess let her head drop, her gaze staring at her feet a moment. Her mind tucked away the casual statement of Luckas again admitting he thought she was attractive, it adding more fuel to her conclusions which she kept to herself for the moment. She raised her arms up towards her head with an elegant grace, her hips swaying gently as her body arched into a wave like motion. “I think this ‘Mirage’ is quite flattering in the art of distraction.” Ess whispered, her body twirled in a curious dance, her core and hips working into a steady pattern before she came to a halt with a gentle laugh. With a sigh her facade melted away back to her doll like features. “Got to save my strength anywho..”
She watched Luckas find his seat with what she saw as disorientated steps, she giggled as he almost fell. Ess plopped herself onto her bed, lying on her side she rested her head in her hand propped up by her elbow. The fire began to die down a bit, as she was hit with a sense of deja vu, seeing Luckas leaning back in his chair casually, the light from the flames reflecting off his black orbs. It was a moment before the memory of the dream hit her. It had been so long since she had it, but she remembered clearly how their first encounter had left Luckas’ presence in her mind. Blinking she shook off the feeling, knowing her staring blankly in awe at Luckas would create some questions. “Sorry, spacing out.” She could only think of one immediate question for Luckas in that moment, and it was a bit odd.
“Have your eyes always been black?…Or is it a result of your…talents? Just…” She shrugged, “…seems like they should be grey…transparent.. But instead they are like a hole in your wall you keep at your beck and call.” Ess paused shaking her head, not knowing if she even made sense to Luckas, adding playfully remembering a comment he made earlier about her drawing, “Maybe you are manifesting into one of your demons…or maybe your a reflection of one of mine.”
Ess waited for him to respond before she suggested, “So, shall we try out my idea?” Her mind was scattered, and as confusing to some it may be, it strangely comforted her, spreading her emotions thin.
Luckas tipped his chair a bit too far at Ess’ question of his eye color and fell flat on his back with a little groan, he chuckled however. “You are one to talk of unusual eye colors, Lady.” He stated jokingly. “My eyes are black for as long as I remember, and I have had my gift for just as long as well.” He answered, not elaborating on how long exactly ‘as long I can remember’ was. “Maybe that’s all I am, the manifestation of others’ nightmares… Perhaps I’m not real after all…” He mumbled, partly to himself. It was a rather comforting thought for some reason. “My whole existence is the result of a bad dream and the sheer power of someone’s most twisted thoughts… Maybe I’m the only one who is truly still human… People speak of humanity as if it was a good thing, but is it really?” He continued that in incoherent mumblings until Ess spoke again. “Huh? Oh, sure we can try that.” He answered, sitting up on the floor and crossing his legs like a kid, looking up at her. “Just lookie here.” He said, with a little grin, pointing at his deep black eyes.
Ess turned onto her stomach with an amused grin as Luckas fell, sliding face first towards the end of her bed so that she could look into Luckas’ eyes, all the while contemplating briefly his words: “. “Maybe that’s all I am, the manifestation of others’ nightmares… Perhaps I’m not real after all…” Ess was partially entertained by his rantings, but at the same time saddened by them. If he really believed that then why keep going in life if nothing mattered, if his actions were pointless. Why care? Inhaling slowly, Ess relaxed resting her chin on her arms, letting her mind go blank curious to what was about to happen.
Luckas took a deep breath as he looked into Ess’ eyes. He tried to pull his mind into what he wanted her to see and separate the rest. In his mind he relived every conversation and brief encounter he’d had with the Black Knight Captain, it worked, but a part of Luke’s mind was still caught up in his previous thought and something else came forth in his memories, something Luckas himself didn’t quite recall.
Luckas’ eyes were opening as he woke up. He felt himself choke as someone was holding him up by the back of his shirt and the collar was pressing against his throat. The unusual amount of light flooding the usually dark basement meant that the door was wide open. Once the five year old boy felt he could open his eyes, he noticed he was being held up over a girl’s dead body. “Look at her! See what you did, you little piece of shit? You killed her! That’s what happens when you disobey, you little freak!” With an angry growl the boy was forcefully thrown across the room, pain invading his body as he collided with the stone wall. “Stay on that side of the line!”
More and more the man shouted, but Luckas wasn’t listening. The boy’s eyes were fixed on the pretty, lifeless, features of the girl lying on the dirty floor. Did he kill her? Had he done that? He couldn’t remember anymore, his mind was blurry, his head hurt… How could he have killed her? He couldn’t have… It couldn’t be…
Boots blocked his view as the man stood before him, forcing him to listen. “You are a killer, a monster, and that is all you’ll ever be. Accept it, embrace it, and learn to play by the rules. It’s the only way to ever leave this room alive.”
Luckas broke eye contact with Ess, crawling his way as far away from her as he could and jumping to his feet even before the image of the woman’s house came back to him. Blindly, he stumbled over the chair he had knocked over moments before in his desire to get away. Unable to look at Ess, or say anything, he simply made his way to the door and stormed out leaning on the outside walls of the house, breathing in the cold night air. What was that place? Who was that girl? Had he actually killed her? Why was he remembering this now? Now of all times! He pressed both his palms against his face, hiding from the world, but unable to escape himself. Luckas let out a muffled scream. The unkown man’s voice echoing in the back of his mind. “Accept it, embrace it, and learn to play by the rules.” Maybe he was a nightmare someone else had dreamed after all. Maybe he was never real.
Ess stared back into Luckas’ eyes, slowly, as if paint splattered across her line of vision, everything went dark, her home disappearing from view. Ess was seeing through Luckas’ eyes, as if she were inside his head. Flashes of Mageria flew by, minutes of information condensed into mere seconds; down to the way she spoke Luckas’ name for example and the emotion only some could see, behind her eyes that she fought to hold back, in the Captains own mask of deception.
The images were ripped away, quickly replaced by a blinding light in utter darkness. Ess’ mind couldn’t think while Luke’s own memory flooded into her brain. They stared at a dead girl, to a dark figure of a nameless man as they were scolded, punished and abused for the terrible act. When her vision came to and the connection was severed, she caught Luckas’ stumbling to evade the room already recovering from an apparent fall, her brain quickly sorting through what she was just shown. It didn’t make sense. Did it have to do with the ‘hypothetical’ questions Luckas was drilling her with earlier? Was it a forgotten pain? Hidden shame?
Ess blinked, quickly rolling herself off the bed and onto her feet, not hesitating in her pursuit of Luckas as he escaped outside, a despaired scream rumbling from him as he seemed to be having some sort of panic attack. Before she even reached him, her mind fumbled in the pieces, overwhelmed with questions and concerns. Who was that punishing the poor boy for something a child most certainly did not do? She couldn’t believe it and knew from enough abuse how the victims were sometimes manipulated into feeling they were responsible for whatever horrors or despair they were experiencing first hand or by proxy. The voice echoed in her ears, as if she still could hear the man, “It’s the only way to ever leave this room alive.” Tears welled in her eyes, yet her expression was almost angry when she halted by Luke’s side, searching to see his eyes before she stepped closer, heeding his warning if they were red. “Luckas….what just happened?….” Ess paused waiting for an answer and saw he was still lost temporarily inside himself, not quite understanding how to act. She needed him to focus so she raised her voice a bit hoping to snap his attention to her… “Luckas! Look at me!…Who was that who hurt you? Is he still alive?” She growled.. “If he is..” She trailed off, not sure what to expect but she needed to take a breath, for Luckas’ sake, to figure it all out and not bombard the man with too many questions at once.
Luckas slid down the wall onto the floor, face still hiding in his hands, he was trembling now on account of the cold and the freezing rain, but he couldn’t even take notice; he was trying to hold onto the imagery, to some detail, to anything that could tell him who he was; who he truly was… He could hear Ess was speaking to him, her voice beginning to break through asking who was the man hurting him… If he was still alive… Luckas had no answers. As he replied his voice came out weak, but rose more and more in his frustration. “I don’t know, I don’t know, I DON’T KNOW!” He shouted, taking a moment to breathe out and get a hold of himself before running both his hands over his eyes and through his hair as he looked up at her finally, his eyes had their usual black color, but for the first time in a very long time they showed fear. “I don’t know who they were, I don’t know where that was… I don’t know if I killed her… What if I killed her? I can’t remember…” His voice broke as he leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. “I don’t even know who she was…”
After a moment more of half coherent ramblings, Luke managed a deep breath and spoke; his voice now more firm as the shock began to fade. “I was found, me and my brother, in the basement of this shop at age nine, when the owner died, apparently of natural causes. We were taken to the orphanage after months in a hospital ward… The medics said that we had probably been locked there for a period of at least six years. I don’t remember any of it. Nothing before my first day at orphanage. Nothing. At least, I didn’t until now. When I lived with the White Shadows, their leader at the time, the only telepath who ever managed to affect me, she tried everything… I never managed to see a thing before the orphanage. She said that pushing any further would be too dangerous… That the memories were so painful that my mind built a wall around so strong that it could break beyond repair if we tried to push through it…” He heaved a heavy sigh. “I still wanted to try, but she wouldn’t let me.” He mumbled, still unaware of the rain or his own shivers as he sat on the cold ground. “Suppose we’re even now, huh? You got to violate me a little bit.” He joked, managing a weak smile.
Ess’ eyes widened as Luckas yelled in frustration, noting the familiar blackness staring up at her from where he had slinked upon the ground. Kneeling down beside him, ignoring the freezing specks bouncing off her back, she adorably rested her head on his shoulder giving her best smile she could muster at the moment while she listened to him. “Sounds like an evil person to have locked up children in a basement…”She whispered, not breaking her gaze from Luckas. “Well…you didn’t attempt to break through this ‘wall’, it just happened this time. Maybe this is a sign, that your body is ready for bits and pieces to be revealed…maybe I’ve hypnotized you with my sweetness and maybe I’m just good for you.” She winked, her smile only broadening, motioning for him to get up and come back inside where it was warm.
“You were only a child and you don‘t remember exactly what happened so you can‘t rush conclusions either now. You can’t cast blame or judge with nothing to back it with.” Adding another point, she shifted the conversation slightly. “Should I blame myself for all the horrid things I was forced to do in order to survive the brothel?” Shaking her head knowingly, she continued to hint at her open door.
“Do you still think you’ll have to kill me?” She teased, standing she tugged lightly on his arm, attempting to lead him back inside. “Or maybe we have more in common than you even thought in the first place.” For some reason, Luckas’ words from an earlier conversation appeared from the back of her mind; the meaning creating more questions for herself: “I hope you remember what you just told me. It might save your life some day.” He sighed and mumbled under his breath. “Hell, it might even save mine.”
“…maybe I’ve hypnotized you with my sweetness and maybe I’m just good for you.”
Luckas laughed softly at those words. “You think so, huh? Well you sure think highly of yourself, Pretty Lady.” He chuckled as he stood up slowly, still trying to retain the image of the dead girl, but it was already fading from his mind again; fading into that part of him that he had never known. He couldn’t help the feeling that she was important however, that she was important to him personally for some reason. “I think that I killed her, because that would explain a few things… And haven’t you blamed yourself? At least for a moment, haven’t you?” He asked, again mumbling, partly to himself, although still expecting an answer. He ran a hand through his hair, a little startled to discover that he was soaked. “Looks like I’ll need those clothes after all.” He stated absently.
“Do you still think you’ll have to kill me?” She teased, standing she tugged lightly on his arm, attempting to lead him back inside. “Or maybe we have more in common than you even thought in the first place.”
Luckas seemed to flinch at those words, and he stared at Ess for a long minute thinking about them. No one had ever seen so much of him before and she spoke of them having things in common. Luke was unsure what to make of it all, he was unsure of what that told him about her exactly. “I think…” He started, moving towards her and half-stumbling forward, momentarily forgetting that he had just had his mind prodded minutes ago, he caught his balance as he continued in a soft snicker, leaning in close to her as if telling a secret. “I think this is one of those things that can destroy or save a person… And we’ll never know which it’ll be, until it is.” He then walked past her to walk back inside. “We should go back to the castle soon, if you think you have what you need.”He stated, finally going back to his usual demeanor as if the whole meltdown had never truly happened.
“Well you sure think highly of yourself, Pretty Lady.”
Shrugging her shoulders, pulling a soaked curl away from her eyes her smile faded a bit. “Maybe, but more likely it’s part of the persona…giving ourselves the image of confidence. Could be stemmed from a deeper, internal source of hope..or it could just be my successful attempt to make you smile.”
Ess shivered, wrapping her arms around herself in a gentle hug, hopping in place slightly wanting to keep warm. “Seems you and I are not use to certain changes in our lifestyles, but today is just full of ‘em. Of course I’ve blamed myself…it’s natural…this is just my feeble attempt at being your…friend.” She whispered, giving him a half smile, not even quite sure what she had just said.
Following Luckas inside, her only response to his last comment of this making or breaking a person was a curious look, “I look forward to that day then.” Locking the door behind her, she left Luckas with his option to change into the clothes she left upon the bed, while she began digging through floorboards at a hidden assortment of supplies. It appeared as if she was prepared long ago to flee, with the option to do it at any time if necessary; several leather satchels were filled with jerky, raw ingredients most recent and fresh for her serums, plenty of money, and some clothes. She paused upon a few basic swords that she had on hand, thinking how she may just be following the Captain wherever she was planning to go with her loyal guards.
“Well…I’m already prepared for the coming trip into the unknown… so check. Luckas…do you ever carry a weapon? I could give you one…you know besides that brain of yours.” She listened to him, keeping her stare along her supplies and began thinking over Luckas about how she would need to get to the castle to acquire an uniform, something that Mageria would wear and also to go light perhaps only with a weapon along her thigh, similar to the Captains. Standing,she lazily draped herself across her bed with a sigh, feeling her body ache subtly from her excursions throughout the day. “We can leave in an hour…there’s still plenty of time. I think we need to get warm…You can eat some more if you like..get some strength up…rest a bit so we don’t make ourselves vulnerable…” Closing her eyes she mumbled, “Do me a favor..Mr…I don’t do favors…” A tired giggle escaped her chest. “Wake me up in half an hour..”
Luckas smiled quietly at the word ‘friend’, but was careful to hide it from Ess. It wasn’t a word he heard often, and even though friendship was never something he sought, or even understood, it was an intriguing idea nonetheless. Once back in the house Luckas changed into the dry clothing quickly, absently hearing the sounds of Ess going through things, by the time she was done looking through the supplies, he had changed and sat at the same chair he had been sitting before, barefoot, and absently checking his boots for any holes. He lifted his head curiously as she asked if ever carried a weapon and offered to give him one. “I’m not that good against opponents who fight back, so I figure it would be a waste of a sword.” He replied absently with a light shrug. “Nice of you to ask though.” He knew he needed training. That had become clear to him a long time ago, but the thing with Luckas is that he trusted almost no one. Lena had taught him a few things, but she hardly had enough time to work him into something decent. Aside from his gift, Luke was just about as harmless as he looked and he looked pretty damn harmless.
Luckas slipped his boots back on, glad that, even though the soles were pretty worn, there were no holes in them just yet. He nodded quietly when Ess asked him to wake her in thirty minutes, not helping a small chuckle at her comment about favors. He shot a small glance in the woman’s direction as he pulled his chair closer to the lit fire; he was still freezing from sitting on the nearly frozen ground outside. Ess was right though, these clothes were far warmer. He took another quick glance towards Ess and confirmed that she had in fact fallen asleep. Thirty minutes… Luke sighed, looking around the house, watching all the drawings on the walls carefully and trying to be as quiet as possible, but feeling bored and uneasy as he sat there. It had been a strange and exciting day for Luke and despite the little scare he had just gone through, he was hardly tired. Eventually his eyes reached the shelf where he had placed the journal Ess had dropped moments earlier, he shook his head, mentally scolding himself a few times before he finally let curiosity get the best of him and he stood up to get the book, one eye always on Ess as he took it out of the shelf and returned to his chair with it.
His mind set on just skimming through the journal to ease his curiosity and putting it back, he opened the book absently flipped the pages, not minding the writing and simply looking at the several drawings contained inside, most of them the same ones drawn on the walls of the house, Ess’ different faces, the little blue eyed boy… Tala, annoying little creature, Luke just knew he was going to end up bitten… Suddenly Luke caught sight of something that caused him to lean forward in his seat, his eyes widened and slightly sparkled in red as he saw the drawing, a grin widening on his face. The drawing was all black, dark, and out of the darkness eyes stared back at Luke. Several eyes, of all different colors, but all the same in a way and unmistakable; his eyes. One single line of writing followed the image:
“Why are the Eyes, the gateway to the soul? Why so many for one soul?”
At this point, Luckas was way too intrigued not to read, and his curiosity spoke louder in his mind than any shred of a conscience he might have left on him, drowning any possible remorse over invading the privacy of someone who had offered him comforting words and even friendship moments ago.
The journal entries were addressed to ‘Blue Eyes’ and they were written as if speaking to this boy. The first few entries Luckas went through made clear that Blue Eyes was dead, and Ess confessed to her friend how much his death had affected her. Those entries spoke of things Luckas never felt, things he was unable to understand, at least up until this point in his life. He didn’t know what it felt to care for another to a point where their absence is unbearable. He’d seen it many times in the healers’ camp when people watched their loved ones die, he saw it when Captain’s friend died as well… He stopped for a few moments going over those words, trying, but failing, to imagine the extent of that pain.
Is it pathetic to miss you so much, Blue Eyes? To love one so deeply that it hurts to eat…it’s hurts to breathe. I feel no reason to keep going, but I do to a point. I wake up every day remembering your words…the words of a child who promised that even in death, would never leave me. I believed you, and although I never forget you so that in a sense you are always with me, I have never felt more alone.
I am eating again…but sleep my days away as it is easier than to live each day out in pain.
I don’t remember the last time I drew something…
I haven’t sang since the last time I saw you…
I don’t deny my own words to you on life, I just find it harder to swallow them now.
Losing the will to live, barely surviving without a purpose I am unsure where to find that edge to continue on.
Not long ago Luckas would have said that it was indeed pathetic, but he remembered the dead girl and wondered if he had ever felt such pain, maybe this is what he was so afraid of. Was he really this pathetic underneath it all? He shook his head, shoving the thoughts aside as he continued to read. A few entries, or pieces of entries catching his eye here and there.
It’s ironic that with my freedom to NewHaven I would chose to gain coin through the same means as my slavery burdened me. Is this all I am, a whore? Do I have any other skills? Is there really anything more to me? Perhaps I am just wasting away..wasting myself…
Is it wrong to feel good about killing another human being? It wasn’t in self defense this time, but a vengeful and preventative act. He wasn’t innocent…he hurt so many, my friend, similar to those who hurt me as a child for all those years. I know you would understand, but if you were still alive you may be scared of me. The emptiness inside is numbing more. It’s as if the hole is still there but filling with shards of tiny purposes. I think I could get use to this…maybe one day I can fill the emptiness inside.
So…how does one tell the difference between Heaven and Hell?
Again, Luckas shifted in his seat as he found himself here and there amongst the woman’s entries…
Stupid. Stupid. I don’t even know where to start Blue Eyes. I took a job, not knowing much about the client. First mistake…..he attacked me…wouldn’t allow me to choose what I was willing to participate in…I escaped..with his coin purse and a few bruises…but I’m ok. Tala was not with me, as I try to keep her low key as not to draw too much attention to my real self. I mean..how many people have a wolf? Right…So the past hour is a hazy blur. I’m pissed off, having to relive some horrid memories that I thought I was past. What I remember is that it was late, walking home alone, came across two men in an ally….next thing I know is one is on the ground slamming his head into a wall and all I remember is a face…a teenage boy..raven locs….purple eyes…no black….maybe both? His smile made my skin crawl…but at the same time…he didn’t hurt me. In fact I came home with two coin purses instead of one. I don’t know who he was….maybe I dreamed it all?…There’s something familiar about him…
It was a dream….I’m pretty sure. Mostly because Tala was sound asleep and she would of been alert and angry if there was an intruder. The dark eyed boy …I opened my eyes to find him smiling beside me as I lay in my bed with Tala curled up behind my legs, all warm and snug like. His smile…..so sad….and he was silent as he brushed one of my curls from out my eyes..and then I blinked and he was gone…What is happening to me..?
Every night this week this stranger has visited my dreams…same way every time
Is it weird that I missed not having that dream last night?
He seems older now..this shadow in my dreams. Now he sits by the fire in my home, watching me sleep curiously, his eyes a terrifying red. As much as he seems frightening…I’m drawn to him and I want to know more…but I always wake up if I move from the bed.
Luckas slowly lifted his eyes from the book, and he shot a glance at the sleeping woman… Feeling a slight chill at the fact that he was exactly where she had dreamed him to be. Maybe he was someone’s nightmares after all… His eyes lit up red, burning bright for a moment as he watched her face, but the light went out as he continued to read.
I dream less and less now a days…kinda disappointing…
He snickered softly at one entry, shaking his head in amusement:
Today, I took on an appointment, but I was bored and troubled…..In a disguise, mirroring the client’s own wife I ‘broke’ into the home assaulted him, stole money and happily acquired a pretty set of finger sized daggers….What a lovely addition to my collection. I know what you may say my friend, but I took one look at this man…saw his lies….saw his lechery…and knew I would not touch him with even my sword. At least I didn’t kill him…
“Should’ve killed him. I would have killed him.” He whispered to himself.
Why are the Eyes, the gateway to the soul?
Demons do exist..inside of us all.
Last night….I dreamt the black eyed stranger was everywhere…
Inside my home…around the corner…down an ally…watching me from afar at a lonely table at the bar…Eyes flashing all colors…his smile so sad….yet his gaze seemed to penetrate my very soul…he saw me for who I am…he knows what I’ve done….His sad smile turned almost manic in his sinister laughter..I can still hear it..
During my dream I was a bit shaken…but when I awoke I swore I could hear him breathing..and I longed to know him.
Luckas frowned slightly wondering why she kept calling him sad. Wondering why he felt like he had actually been there like she had imagined him, or maybe he wished he had… Seemed to him he would have learned a lot more by following Ess around like she dreamed he had than stuck in the White Shadows camp, where he actually was most of those years. Even if he didn’t understand why she had never forgotten him, why she wanted to know him… Ess was right in her statements; they had plenty in common.
“I’m not that good against opponents who fight back, so I figure it would be a waste of a sword…”
“…Nice of you to ask though.”
Ess’ breathing slowed, but grew louder in their rhythm when she drifted off to sleep, the last thing she thought of was how maybe they could trade off in skills as teacher and student: He could give her lessons in defense against telepaths and she would give him self defense ones in turn. Memories, not her own manifested into dreams, flashing from one to then next in almost the same manner she absorbed them earlier from Luckas, Mageria’s voice whispering in the back of her mind.
“You’re dead. You’re not real, you’re dead and I don’t have to do what you say because you’re not real.”
“Why aren’t you doing what I tell you?”
Mageria didn’t even look at him, refusing to even acknowledge that he was there. He started to reach out and touch her, and she leaned away, not wanting to let him get his hands on her even as a hallucination. When he made it clear that he would continue to try and touch her if she didn’t answer, she stopped and glared at him. “What?”
“Why aren’t you doing what I tell you to do?”
She sighed. “Because you’re dead. I saw your body back at Newhaven and I know you’re not real. So therefore, you don’t have any control over me.”
The teen rocked back on his heels. “Do you see things that aren’t there often?”
Mageria sighed. “Only recently. Why?”
He tilted his head to the side. “Are you Enlightened at all?”
She shook her head. “No, not the slightest. Go away and leave me alone. You can come back later.” She started to move away and he jumped in front of her.
The memory scattered like broken glass, revealing another behind it…
Luckas looked down and smiled like a child that had gotten away with something truly mischievous, then pretend to think for a while, tapping his chin with his index finger. “Hum… I probably shouldn’t tell you… Should I?” He mumbled, grinning. “Fine, as a token of my appreciation Captain, I’ll tell you what I saw: I saw something I didn’t knew even existed, and I might have gotten a little too close to it in my curiosity. And when IT tried to kill me… I found out IT is in fact a HE. Because, see… My ability only works on people, and it worked, thankfully. Even though it sure didn’t look like a man, he thought like a man, at least momentarily… And you were very much on his mind the whole time Captain. On his mind, on its mind… Both, I think.” He leaned further into the wall and looked up again. “As it occurs to me that you might not believe me, if you like I’ll gladly show you proof. The little mark he left on me is still quite fresh.” He said, reaching for his chest, where he had been bandaged the day before.
Ess was seeing everything again, as if she were Luckas, realizing by what he wore this memory was from the night her and him had been…reunited…
Luckas hesitated, going silent for a moment before asking another question, now looking at the ceiling and trying to pretend the question was innocent. “Say… How well did you sleep last night, Captain?”
Mageria hesitated and shrugged. “Nightmares, of course. Would you expect any less?” She sighed. “They seem to be following a theme lately.” She stated it simply and left it at that. “Why do you ask, Luckas? You don’t seem the type to worry about another person’s health like that. No offense.”
Luke laughed out at the words ‘no offense’. “You’re too polite, considering the circumstances.” He nodded, still smiling. “And I do worry about your health, Captain. Perhaps not for what you would call ‘the right reasons’, but I do.” He sat up straight again, and nodded. “The reason I ask is because I haven’t been sleeping well myself. And while I can’t always remember my dreams exactly, since I got here… Well… It’s gotten worse.” He stated, showing off his left forearm that still had the reddish marking of the word ‘stop’ scratched on it. “I’ve also been seeing and hearing things, even while awake, ever since I looked into that thing’s mind. It’s bothersome. Especially because it all seems to have something to do with you.” He scratched the back of his head and sighed. “I guess I’m trying to say that… I want to help you, when time comes for that.”
Ess began to stir, the dream fading from her mind. As her eyes peeked open, she saw Luckas by the fire, appearing quite mesmerized by something in his lap. At first, she thought she was still dreaming, everything was so familiar until she realized what Luckas had in his lap was her leather journal. She couldn’t move in the mix of emotions that plagued her at that moment, her heart beginning to pound in her ears. Closing her eyes to try to get herself to focus, she kept up the notion that she was still asleep.
How could he invade her things like that? Why did she leave it out in the open to be found? Why did it interest him so to read the depressed dribble of her inner most despairs? How far did he get? She wanted to scream in her embarrassment, to lurch at him and tear it from his grasp to just toss it away in the fire so that no one could read it ever again. Minutes went by as she tried to decide on her reaction, trying to bury inside her frustration with the situation. Finally, still with her eyes shut, she abruptly spoke, her voice letting him know she was pissed, but still managing to keep her tone calm and low.
“…You miss my company that much, you couldn’t wait to find out more? What do you wish to know so bad about me, my dear Luckas?”
Luckas was about to close the book and put it back when Ess’ voice reached his ears. He winced, staring intently at his shoes as if he was a scolded child.
“…You miss my company that much, you couldn’t wait to find out more? What do you wish to know so bad about me, my dear Luckas?”
Her voice was calm, but it was clear that she was angry, why wouldn’t she be? This was private and he had overstepped; he knew that. He was silent for quite sometime, wanting to say anything to make this look a little less invasive, but there was nothing, Sure he could lie; he could say he didn’t even get the chance to read anything, that he had just opened it right then, maybe that would make it a little better. The problem with that was the fact that lying was the one thing Luke wasn’t capable of. Finally he stood up and quietly placed the journal back where it had been. “I’m sorry…” It was strange to say that without the sarcasm. “… I guess, I was bored and them I got curious.” He returned to the chair and leaned back on the backrest, heaving a sigh. “I was just going to skim through it, find that drawing you showed me before, but then… It… Got interesting…” He mumbled, scratching the back of his head. Luckas truly look like a scolded child, staring at his feet and mumbling apologies. He felt stupid for it, but he really couldn’t help it; he knew very well that that book was important and it was personal, and he took it anyway.
Ess’ eyelids flew open when he didn’t answer right away, still not moving from where she lay, only watching him carefully as he rightly put the journal back upon the shelf. Her anger grew, literally biting her tongue to keep her temper, her violet eyes ablaze with the obvious displeasure of the situation, burning a hole into Luckas as she studied his reaction. It was clear he knew what he had done and wasn’t denying it, which made Ess calm just slightly. Sitting up she sighed, “I usually keep it on me…it’s my fault. I would of probably done the same thing…apology accepted…but only if you really mean it.” This wasn’t anything by any means, worth holding a grudge over, but she felt like the purpose of the journal was ruined…that maybe something was taken away and out of spite she still wanted to burn it.
Still studying Luckas closely, the glow in her eyes faded as she shook her head. “I’ll be honest with you hun, I can tell you read something that you are not understanding…so just ask me. Not everything is written down or explained in there, that’s the problem with those things. It’s what we choose to disclose, either for shameful reasons or…” Ess snickered, “…Self incriminating ones…”
Deciding the best way to get rid of her anger was to keep herself busy, she stood, changing out of the semi wet dress she had slept in, into a pair of black leggings that had closed feet with a matching black shirt that fitted snug along her hourglass curves. She could easily slip other clothes over these and not have to worry about them. Finding a small belt, she lifted her leg onto the empty chair beside Luckas, buckling a simple looking dagger along the outside of her thigh.
Luckas kept staring at his boots the whole time. He did feel sorry and he didn’t like feeling it one bit, it started to make him a bit unnerved. He’d done a lot worse in his life than go through someone’s journal why didn’t he feel sorry then? Why was he feeling so damn guilty for this? It was so stupid. Finally he broke his silence. “I don’t say things I don’t mean and I don’t need any explanations on things I shouldn’t know in the first place.” He muttered in a barely audible tone, before standing up and raising his voice to normal level. “We should just go… We’ve been away from the castle long enough; the meeting probably ended hours ago.”
Things had gotten a little more personal than Luckas was comfortable with in the past couple of hours and, after this he just wanted to talk about something else, anything else, that didn’t have to do with anybody’s past.
Ess brushed through her hair, watching how Luckas wouldn’t even look at her now. As she braided it up similar to Mageria did hers, the tone of her voice changing softly as she stretched her vocal cords to match the memories and experiences of Mageria with an impressive start. Quickly slipping a curious ring around her right hand, a silver claw turned inward along her palm, she finished dressing in her cloak, pulling the hood up over her head the material drooping over her face to hide her from plain view. When she spoke, her voice gradually drifted from her normal tone, to mimic the Captains. “Luckas…I believe you. You’re right, enough hanging about…Just keep in mind that you’re not the only one weirded out by all this…I thought I was still dreaming when I saw you by the fire…”With a sigh she trailed off, her smile peeking out from beneath her hood. Ess had not changed her appearance, but yet the way she carried herself and moved showed that she had definitely made much use of the memories Luckas gave her. It was almost uncanny in the simplicity and detail that usually may go over looked when comparing people; each step and each word improved the fantasy that she was becoming the Captain. “Let’s get on with the show then, my dear Luckas.”
“Maybe we’re both dreaming an none of this is real… Maybe I’m still locked up in that basement, maybe you never really left Blackpond to begin with… Who’s to say it isn’t all just one big illusion? Maybe nothing really changed.” Luke was mumbling under his breath again, taking notice of the change in the woman’s tone and thinking that things were just getting weirder by the minute.
Luckas was quiet as they walked the path back to the castle, trying hard to focus on the task ahead, but it had been one strange day and his mind was a little bit scattered all over the place; he needed it in one piece, he couldn’t lose control… He said he’d get the information out of Xypher, killing the man before finding out his motives would be failure and that wasn’t an option. With only the corner of his eyes he watched Ess, registering all the changes in her posture, in her walk… It was impressive how easily and how quickly she changed. If he didn’t know any better… He shook his head, amusement showing clear on his face even though he still kept to himself until they reached the insides of the Castle at which point he mumbled the word “uniforms” and began leading the way towards the Black Knights’s ward, hoping it’d be easy to snatch one with all the confusion of people preparing to move out.
As they reached the Black Knight’s ward things looked agitated. There were broken things being carried around and it didn’t seem like the Guard would be all that welcoming to visits right now. Luckas turned to Ess with a rather intrigued expression on his face. “You think we should tell the Captain what we’re doing? I mean… If she happened to show up while you’re luring the man, that could be a problem.” As he said that a member of the Guard approached them. “Hey, you two, what are you…” The man flinched for a second, but he took a second look at Ess and went on talking, shaking his head as he did so. “You shouldn’t be wandering around here, so why don’t you just turn around?”
Luckas tilted his head to the side curiously as he noticed the man had reached for his sword… Things had certainly grown more tense in the past few hours. “We’re allowed.” Luckas stated calmly. “Answer me: Where’s your Captain?”
The man relaxed some. “You’re allowed.” He agreed. “Captain’s at the medics ward.”
“Really?” Luckas asked. “Tell me more.”
“She and Pondus had one hell of a fight. They both ended up really messed up.”
Luckas flinched a little bit. “Pondus? Ain’t he the dead guy?” He asked absently, then he shook his head. “Never mind. Thanks a lot mate, move along, now.”
The Guard went on his way and Luckas looked at Ess, scratching his head. “Well, I’m going to the medics’ ward then. You wanna come with or you rather maybe go find some uniforms?” He asked.
“Maybe we’re both dreaming and none of this is real… Maybe I’m still locked up in that basement, maybe you never really left Blackpond to begin with… Who’s to say it isn’t all just one big illusion? Maybe nothing really changed.”
Ess shook her head, not liking the idea that all of this was a dream. She rather enjoyed the fact that Luckas standing beside her was not just the dreams haunting her, fragments that were not understood, now slowly were coming together. When she had rested her head on his shoulder, he felt as real as anything else she had experienced in her life. It didn’t make much sense to her why he wanted it all to not be real, so very bad..or maybe it did make sense. There are some things she could do without, but there’s no sense in wishing the impossible. Keeping her thoughts to herself, she felt a subtle ache in her chest for Luckas at how awkward all this seemed for him and she began to feel guilty for her anger towards him, even if she was in her right to feel that way. Having control over her temper once again, the glow in her eyes faded which was helpful not to draw unnecessary attention to herself before things even begun.
Entering the castle, Ess was in utter awe how much had changed in the past couple hours, the place was a disaster. She went to whisper something to Luckas, when the Guard approached giving Ess a double take. Dipping her head a bit, to continue to hide her face she smiled in her silence, letting Luke take care of the small matter. ‘Very useful this one is..’ Ess pondered to herself as the guard wondered off.
“I’ll meet you and the Captain in a few moments then..” She muttered, still tweaking certain vowels to resemble Mageria’s speech. Without another word she slipped past a few men, hustling down the hall, disappearing around the corner.
Luckas simply nodded, walking in the opposite direction towards where he knew the infirmary was, whispering under his breath. “Be careful now, Pretty Lady.”
This is where I will end this posing. Perhaps another time I will post more, but if you are really interested on what happens next, please click the link above at Shadows Of The Forgotten. Thanks for reading!