I’m pretty sure I read something similar to this list before on Camila’s blog, but I can’t recall where. She’ll find it if it bugs her enough. Details are her weakness. She MUST know!
1) So you’re still writing your little book/poem/etc?
Yes. It’s a HELL of a lot more interesting than looking at your face! Ehem, I mean… >.> Writing is stressful but also stress relieving. It helps channel our minds into a more productive and beneficial way so we don’t go homicidal. Or the fact that fantasy is just more interesting some days than reality. Seriously. O.k, only sometimes. Truth is if we are still working on something for more than a week, chances are it has blossomed and become our baby, therefore we will work tediously night and day (mostly at night when it’s quiet) to help it grow. Not to mention we become perfectionists. So two years later if I’m STILL working on a rewrite, buzz off.
2) Must be nice not having a real job.
Speaking for myself, I have a ‘day job.’ For those of you who have extra time (if they like it or not) to work on their book, kudos! Guess what, people who say the above are just jealous. I am not saying that as a comeback to make you feel better because it is the God’s honest truth. People who say the above are working miserable day jobs that they refer to as ‘real jobs’ to pay the rent but they get nothing out of it besides that. Writing is something we enjoy as creative people and if we actually can bank a paycheck from it, you think we are ever going to go back to the customer service position of getting screamed at? The moment I get there, I will flip out on the next person who calls me names and quit triumphantly.
Even if not as successful as one would like, working at something you love is far better than living in eternal misery.
3) Writing doesn’t sound too difficult.
Oh no? Did you just pass kindergarten finger painting and come up with that conclusion all on your own? Bravo! English language in general is a nightmare. Maybe coming up with a story is easy for some but there’s consistencies you have to keep an eye on. I’d like to think those who are serious about the profession want things to make sense in whatever reality their story takes place in. Also, I know no one is perfect and typos happen but I would like to read a story that isn’t completely in emoticons, Ebonics, or some other ‘hip’ slang used by young adults and poorly educated individuals. One should not write as one speaks. These are instances where that is acceptable for text or chatting online only. ENGLISH PLEASE. (Or whatever language you speak, in it’s proper form)
4) I always thought I’d write a book after I retire, once I have some time to kill.
…And then one day you are hit by a bus and become a vegetable. It’s horrible, but the point is there. You may not live to retirement. Also, if you look at writing as ‘only’ a hobby, that’s fine but then you could start here and there, now. Why put off what you can do today for tomorrow if it really interests you?
5) Wait a second, creative writing degrees are a real thing?
If that is abnormal to you, then are these normal? There’s actually a school of wizardry. Hogwarts? Where do I sign up!? Apparently anything can become a scam-I mean college course to major or minor in. Honestly I didn’t realize there was a sex school. Mkaaay.
6) Have you been published yet?
As nice as that would be, that isn’t always our goal. However, if our goal is to make sure we get to share our story with people, there are other ways such as self publishing or pitching it as a screenplay. Personally I still want to do that when our RP is over, but there probably will be too many legal hoops to jump through, even though I got the other author’s o.k. in writing.
7) Can I be a character in one of your stories?
Famous last words. That isn’t something you really should ask because you most likely won’t like it. Especially if we don’t like you, we may just express it as a brutal and agonizing, in-scene death. Or as one fellow writer wrote in the RP, “she might just stab you. Or light you on fire. Or poison you. Or tie you up in a tree upside down covered in honey for the bears.” -Mageria, taken from Shadows of the Forgotten
8) So I have this great idea I think you should be using in your book.
Bitch, please. Go write your own damn story. That is how I feel towards some, but then there are people who you talk with in regards to your story and may help you brainstorm, especially if you are feeling stuck. That’s not such a bad thing, but unless you are writing it with the person, it’s best not to start a conversation that way. We get defensive of our ‘babies.’
9) Aren’t writers just professional liars? They tell stories for a living after all/
I have not actually come across this before and I find it odd to be on this list. However I was a good liar as a child and became an expert at getting away with just about anything. But, hey, that is only because people were convinced I was lying all the time when I wasn’t so when I was actually, they believed I was telling the truth. Oh the drama of middle school/high school. Boo, hiss.
10) You’re writing a book? Tell me everything!
Two hours later you either have a doe-eyed fan demanding pages (like my friend Dori who asks me every time I see her, “Where are my pages!”) or they are praying for you to stop going on about your main character like it is your best friend. Isn’t that how we talk about our babies though; as if they are real life entities? Do we not get excited when they live or succeed and cry when they are hurt? Do we not hear them talking in our minds, their voices becoming to loud that we have to drop everything and get it down on paper before we forget? They have little personalities all their own that once they come into existence, all bets are off. They are not in our control per se, as many would like to believe. We can’t just NOT kill a character because it would depress us, unless it fits the story. If someone gets cut in half, there’s no coming back from that. (well I guess depends on the setting and rules. but most of the time there’s no coming back damn it) Just make sure there’s a body, right?